Forever Sunshine

i'm glad that i was in church for service yesterday

xiaoting told me that the message was for me

she even called me in the morning just to make sure that i can wake up to go to church

although yulan called to wake me up

but then, i went back to sleep

curx i was on the phone till quite late that night

its the last service of the year

its very important

please go

in my mind, i was thinking "Ya, its true. Last service of the year, no matter what, I must go"

i didn't start it right

but i can end it well

well

it really feels like i ended it very well

pastor Tan preached about change

a very very very RELATABLE message for me

i desired change

and i change for the better in the first quater of the year

but as time pass by

i forgotten about the ability of change I have

and i just stick to the style i'm living

which is something not so good

sometihing not so right

something I, myself also don't like either
i guess the word is "deteriorating"

pastor said "When someone said that if that person said :"Yar, I know I'm leading a destructive life, but I can't change it". This is pride, this is being proud"

its not somehow i felt that he's talking about me

i knew that one is me

i always says :"Yar, i know. I'm 堕落-ing."

This is not decision.

Decision

Dedication

Discipline

i knew all this

all the theories i need to know

its already in me

that's why whenever people trying to "teach" me how to deal with a situation

i feel very 反感

don't try to teach me

because i already know

i need to apply it

i'd rather you pray that i can carry it out then start teaching me and hope i get the revelation of how to do it

i'm definitely a teach-able person

maybe its i being unfair

but then i only listen to teaching coming from certain people only

my favourite pastor zhuang said this :"There are mountains that need to climb over. There are mountains that need to be cast into the sea. But there are mountain that you need the supernatural power to overcome it. As you cling unto God, in year 2008, God will say to you "I will lead you by your hand, and the mountains will become a platform, because I am with you""

at that moment, i can feel how great my God is and i can understand how much my God loves me

just feeling so assured that year 2008 will be the best year yet

if i start cling-ing unto Him

i was hanging on

but now

i will cling unto Him

Fools & Dead man DON'T CHANGE

Fools refuse to change

Dead man can't change
i don't want to be a fool and definitely i'm not dead yet

WHEN CHANGE IS NECESSARY

NOT TO CHANGE IS DESTRUCTIVE

I, personally experienced it

and maybe I'm still experiencing it

THE ABILITY TO LEAD CHANGE DETERMINES SUCCESS IN LIFE

I want to be successful

and I CAN be successful