God
God
God
God
God
I love God this much.
Actually I'm lying because I do not love Him that much.
I do not love God.
Actually I'm lying again because I loved Him.
I'm confused.
Study.
God.
Family.
Boulder of stuns.
Drop unto my head.
Confideny building in progress.
Yet, it was being trash into the bin.
Awwww.
Pity?
I'm not.
My PRIDE do not say so.
Let it be where it meant to be.
My PRIDE will not give in.
My PRIDE is my STRENGTH.
Please do not try to hold me back.
Because I'll not go back.
Please do not try to push me forward.
Because I'll not move.
Confusion
Confusion
Confusion
Confusion
Confusion
I stood there.
Wonder.
Ponder.
And I'm still standing there.
Wondering.
Pondering.
And I'm really confused.
Blured.
Stunned.
Totally chaotic.
In my mind.
SHUT UP!!
You're making me feeling darn pissed off.
If this carries on.
I'm going to say BYE BYE.
Not GOODBYE.
To
Once
My
Dear
God.
These words been in my mouth.
-Fuck
-Suck
-Kan Ni Na
-Ci Bai
-Si Bei
All the vulgarities
You can ever thought of.
Think I'm toooo worldly le.
I know many of you all LOVE me.
I know Many of you all CARE for me.
I know many of you all FOUGHT for me.
I know many of you all PRAYED for me.
Especially that someone that called another someone.
And talked about me.
SURPRISED, I am.
I know how much I've hurt both of you.
**and **
SORRY.
I'm afraid I can't get back to whom I was.
I'm getting back to my old past.
I'm afraid that I'm not going back to whom I was already.
It's just way too difficult.
I do not know how to do it.
I know I've promised you all that I'll go back to Him.
SORRY that I can't keep that promise.
I'm not like Him.
A promise Giver & A promise Keeper
I do not know how much more I'll try.
But from what I can see.
This is just as far as I could go with my own strength.
Further more I can go, only with Him.
Cheers...
Many things crossess my mind.
Many things appeared in this entry.
Many things do not appear in this entry.
I hid it.
And I'll continue hiding it.
**
You're right.
What you afraid of that night happened.
I really BS-ing again.
I'm not happy with it.
But I'll fight it.
Because it's my war.
With Satan.
With Jesus fighting by my side.
I do not know how long this FAITH can carry me.
But I'll continue FIGHT on.
Because my PRIDE do not allow me to say
I'M DEFEATED!!
I'm going to say
FIGHT ON!!!!
JIA YOU Ken Lim!!