03 Feb 2006
Today was a great in the morning, everything was fine. That fine day continued untill Chem tutorial. Mr.Chua ask for Holiday Assignment. Arg!!! Following that, he "scolded" "us", to be specific (Me,Benson,AikLeng,ZeLun) Was extremly sad, of course, there are many people laughing behind us and said that we deserved it. Of course, I knew it deep in my heart that my "laziness" during last year had plant a seed that is I had to suffer this. Greatly "discriminated" or rather "suaned", I fell into the pit of depression. Super disappointed with myself, it seems that this happened many times after I go to JC. Often by comparing myself with my classmates, I was already very far away from them, and kena "suaned" again today. Really felt like giving up on JC education, so I "discussed" it with my dear CGL ( Sister Shannon Lee from W210 ) through SMS. A pity that I accidentally deleted her msg, if not I'll post it. Anyway, they are some 3 pages SMS essay. Not long winded but every sentence goes straight to the point. Something like Why shouldn't I give up? Why give up when I was given that chance or rather miracle to be ADVANCED to JC2? I was deeply affected, you may say that I'm weak that i'm so easily affected by such thing. I do not blame you dear, because you do not know that you'll give up easily too when your confidence is being snatched away from you. That day was the first lesson of GP module, I was sooooooooooooo tempted to skip it. Because during the other half of the day I was carrying a burden, arguement, struggle ( beyond my vocab ) in my heart. I attended it in the end and it was a wonderful lesson to know about cloning and how Science and Religion can be linked and contradict each other. But feeling extremely down and sad, I skipped PC lesson. After I reached home, I washed up and then proceed to my friend's working place which is a lan shop for some chat. Then while I was on the train going to meet make up cell group, my PC rep SMS me that he actaully marked me early leave today and not "RAN AWAY". I was so "touched" and "Sad" at the same time. Can you imagine that before you be a testimony to others, people had to cover up for all those sh** you've done. I was like sian diao and felt that I'm such a Jabez !! Before I go to CG meeting, I drank E33. For those who don't know what's that, good for you. Getting quite sleepy and I just feel like letting myself lie down and "rest". Apparently I didn't, because during testimony time I shared about my daddy is willing to give me an amount of money through out this whole year for my study and allowance. I do not know how and why I tears when I shared that, all I know was that's really a miracle. I didn't ask for it because I know that I really disappointed them by not giving enough hard work into my study. So I dare not to ask of anything and moreover that he already say that he's not gonna mention anything about it duting new year. But during the very last day of their stay at hometown. We were sitting down at the dining table, he just suddenly asked me that how's my study now. Am I promoted and conditionally promoted? Since it's none of them, I didnt admit nor deny it. So he just say "Ok, I'll give you this amount of money the rest you go think about it yourself". I heard from my Ah Ma that it was my Mummy that helped me. It's great to have a Christian family member isn't it? When we have problem we can always run to them. There are many more details, but I really lazy to post it. Just know that God'll surely give us a miracle we are waiting for. Please, perservere on.
[ Left by A Contented Soul Who Love God ]
[ Left by A Contented Soul Who Love God ]